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Would Anyone Else Like A Bite of Banality?
(Title lovingly ripped off from The Simpsons)

So lately I've been poking through fanfiction for horror movies lately in wake of the Nightmare On Elm Street remake which I am DYING to see. I apologize for the run-on sentence. Anyway, I've been re-inspired into writing fanfiction again, so I like to read other fanfiction and all that good shit.

I couldn't help but notice that nearly all fanfics concerned with horror movies are all the same, depending on the movie. So, here is your guide to Typical Horror Movie Fanfiction. I'm going to be using the 'Big Four' franchises, since I am most familiar with them.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

A girl goes on a road trip with her friends who usually treat her like shit because she's nothing like them. (In that case why the hell did she agree to going on a road trip with them?) Said shitty friends are killed and butchered. Despite Leatherface's mother's dislike of teenagers for how they treated her son, she lets the girl live with them because Leatherface has a thing for her. Not to mention, she is treated like a person by everyone except Hoyt. Girl eventually develops a thing for Leatherface, despite the fact he is a violent cannibal who judging by the looks of him doesn't bathe very often. ...OH, did I mention he peels off people's faces and wears them? You know, like Ed Gein? Yeah. Exactly.

A Nightmare On Elm Street

A girl, usually a Goth, moves against her will to Springwood. She moves into Nancy's old house and when she goes to high school she's an outcast, or she makes a one-dimensional friend. She meets Freddy in her dream, and somehow gets out of it with little more than a scratch. The story has potential to go in three different directions at this point. She either A) Befriends Freddy  B) Does the nasty with him  C) Becomes his oh-so-speshul apprentice

Friday the 13th
A girl from Jason's past goes to Camp Crystal Lake. He doesn't kill her, for some reason he doesn't have a nasty-ass zombie face and hot smexing ensues.


Michael encounters another killer or runs into a childhood friend and porn-without-plot ensues. Ta-da!


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